The Chronic Complainer (Living Your Life With Dr. Abdulfattah Adeyemi)

The Chronic Complainer (Living Your Life With Dr. Abdulfattah Adeyemi)

There are some people we meet every day and our meeting them is such a trial! They complain about almost everything. If they walk in the afternoon sun, “Oh! This weather is too hot!” is what they will keep repeating.

When it is wintry, they gripe over the cold. This has become such a habit that they would almost grumble that the sky falls watery rain!

If jobless, he would moan his unemployed situation, if he has a job, he would complain that work is too much. If all seems to go well, he still has grievances with an office colleague, who is either too sluggish or too bubbly. This same incessant grumbling is often carried into marriage matters: If single, he will complain that there are no more good women. If married, he will complain that wives are necessary evils.

At home with his family, he would charge the peaceful atmosphere with negative energy as he endlessly vent and rant, irritating anyone that crosses his path. Why would we allow our negative complaint attitudes to impact on our behaviors at work, with our colleagues, with our families?

If you listen to live radio phone-in programs, you will be amazed at the way some chronic complainers express grief and sadness, gloom and doom over every subject of discussion. They fill the airwaves with despair and distrust borne out of myopia, anger and wanton sentiment.

Could this be because negative contributions make larger waves than positive suggestions? Could it be that some are already angry with their personal lives and find the electric media an opportunity to give vent to their fury? Interestingly, for such persons, behind the griping are personal live problems that defile solutions. Such people can talk for a long time, grousing on issues, but become speechless when told to advice on a way out.

However, we should note that it is not all complaints that are negative; some grievances are legitimately expressed to make changes, effect corrections or expand the room for improvements. Our gripes should open the door for dialogue, aimed at solving problems and establishing a healthy link of communication between the aggrieved and the real or perceived offender.

In our personal lives, we should understand the difference between complaining to seek advice and whimpering to evoke sympathy from others. You might succeed in organizing a “pity party” where “whine” is served, so that people would come to say “Eeyyah! Sorry!” But has that solved your problems? Is it not time for you to take things easy and pick up your life, rather than lingering, stuck in the victim mode of a chronic complainer?


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