The Loss Of My Mum Gave Me The Opportunity To Be My Own Man- Saga

Ex-Big Brother Naija Housemate, Saga, sits with Chude Jideonwo, host of #WithChude to discuss life after Big Brother Naija, the loss of his mum, and how it torpedoed his relationship with his father.

On the aftermath of his relationship with Nini, after he left the Big Brother Naija House, he said, “When I came out, I just kept hearing ‘mumu’ ‘mumu’. When I was in the house I figure that some people might not like it, but I didn’t think it would be that bad. I was just being human. But then, I came out I didn’t dwell on it too much, I converted it to ‘I’m a lover boy, that’s what I do’ and I moved on. I even yabbed myself online”.

Saga also affirms that he doesn’t regret his choices, “That is who I am. I didn’t commit a crime, I followed one woman, as it should be”. Talking about what influenced him to be this way, he shared, “First of all I am a mummy’s boy. I am the last born and the only boy and all my life I was raised with girls. Because I was raised with girls, my father wouldn’t be inclined to bring guys over. Most of my cousins that lived with me were all ladies. I have four female best friends, all these make me understand how ladies think and make me more of a gentleman. My mum always coach me back then, she would sit me down,  and tell me how to treat a woman. She would tell me the things my father did wrong and how I should do it right”.

He also shared the impact his mum’s passing had on him, “I lost my mum in 2014. After she did my 21st birthday, she just went ill and it was three months of horror. But then, it makes me who I am today. She died when I was in my final year. My mum used to come to school every weekend, and she did all the birthdays. Sometimes she would even insist I come home every weekend, and she will drive me back to school after church on Sunday. I was a proper mummy’s boy. If my dad doesn’t go out with her, I’d go out with her like her husband, I’d wear her husband’s clothes. When she left, it gave me the opportunity to be my own man. My father and I had to first fight because my mum occupied all the space in my heart. My dad was also good to us, but she was just there 100%. So it left a very huge vacuum. My dad lost his love, I lost my mother so both of us were just kinda going mad. It really made me be my own man because I had to find my feet. I left my dad’s house to go and serve in 2015, I haven’t spent a night there since. I have just been on my own, doing my own thing, of course, he is very supportive”.

On the conflict with his father after his mother’s passing, he said, “I felt like both of us didn’t do enough for my mum when she was alive. We were just about to start celebrating my mum when she passed, she was 49. I was planning to get her artwork for her 50th birthday. We were to move into our big house. Everything was about to get good, we were about to start spoiling her, and then she moves on. I am now in the position where I am almost regretting not doing all those things to her. I feel my father also felt that way. He was always crying, I had to even be the man sometime because both of us cannot be crying at the same time. He also will sometime look at me and be reminded of her, because we were very similar. So it really caused a kind of rift.

On coming of age after dealing with the loss of his mum, he said, “I had to rediscover myself when my mum passed. My mum did everything for me to the extent that I didn’t know how to fill JAMB form or check my result. So that process of finishing school, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I started painting out of confusion. My dad was like, what’s this boy doing? But eventually, things started getting better. I started becoming independent. My father started to understand me better. He started seeing me being my own man and that was what he has always wanted. The relationship was already getting really good, but when I went for Big Brother, and he watched me that cemented the relationship. Since I came out, we’ve barely fought or had any issues, we are always gisting”.