Living Your Life
With
Dr Abdulfattah Adeyemi
Toxic Friends
The word “toxic” is “used to describe a person who is tainted by a subconscious malevolence or psychosis that affects the lives of those who come into contact with them.” When one moves with toxic friends, for instance, chances are that one might flow along with them. Drifting happens when we do things because our friends are doing same and this influence can have negative or positive effects on us. The positive influence comes when we flow with the friends who authenticate who we are and share similar values with us. These can inspire us in making the right choices and decisions in life.
Conversely, drifting along with toxic friends might make us walk in the dark woods of immorality, dangerous life styles and possibly, crimes. We might drown our unique talents and compromise our ideals; we might even sacrifice our core values in quest of validation from such friends.
Apart from wishing that the whole world should revolve around them, toxic friends also fail to realize that others should have an outlook on life that could be different from theirs: you either agree with them, or they take the difference in opinion as a personal affront. With such friends, one might be forced to tread a path of unproductive and frustrating friendship that forces one to swallow one’s opinions and subvert one’s honesty.
The point is, many are successful in life today because they flowed with the right group of friends, while some are not getting ahead due to the toxic friends they are drifting with. Some questions one should ask himself are: Do I feel secured sharing my deep thoughts, ideas and secrets with this friend? Do I feel free to be myself around this person or do I have to watch what I say or do? Does this person abuse my generosity and take me for granted? In any case, shouldn’t we keep off toxic friends who don’t nourish our souls but suck the verve out of our spirit? Is it not time for us to reconsider our stance in friendships that add no real value to our lives other than frustration and distractions?
We should not forget that life is serious business. We should develop a heightened level of vigilance about the friends we flow with, as some are poignant and poisonous; some are malevolent and ambivalent, mischievous and ambiguous. Oddities of life often happen because of wrong companionships. Something is wrong when an earthworm is found in a plate of spaghetti. Or, what can be so exciting in a friendship of a peacock with a vulture? Shouldn’t a zebra look beyond the stripes while befriending a tiger?
