As Sugar Daddies And Baby Mamas Threaten Marriages, By Kazeem Akintunde
For the most part of last week, the social media space was awash with news of the dalliance between David Oyeleke, popularly known as Davido, with two different women. American-based Anita Brown set the ball rolling when she claimed that the singer impregnated her and to prove her claim, conducted a pregnancy test live on social media. The noise from that episode was yet to die down when another French lady, Ivanna Bay also revealed that she is also pregnant with Davido’s child.
She also added a little drama to her claim when she said that she was surprised that she wasn’t the only one carrying Davido’s kid. “I woke up this morning to see that I’m not the only woman David got pregnant. I’m just so disappointed in this kind of man. Women, be careful. I’m still pregnant. So, see you in less than 9 months”, she wrote on social media.
To disprove the notion that they may be catching a cruise, the two women provided ‘evidence’ including WhatsApp and screenshot text messages with the singer, which shows that they may have had something going with the music superstar. Even before the duo make public their sexual encounters with Davido, which has now resulted in pregnancy, the Omo Baba Olowo superstar also has a child with Sophia Momodu that was named Imade Adeleke. Sophia is the niece of popular Nigerian journalist, Dele Momodu. Sophia and Davido’s relationship was brief. It started in 2013, but later became controversial. Imade was born in 2015. He has however declared that he has no intention of marrying Sophia due to the age difference between them, and the fact that she does not deserve him.
Before Imade, there is Aanuoluwapo Adeleke, Davido’s eldest child from Ayomide Labinjo. Ayomide, a businesswoman and model, claimed that Davido slept with her in 2013 when he went to perform in London without wearing a condom. Aanuoluwapo was born in 2014 but after a series of denials, a paternity test was conducted and it was 99.9 percent proven that he was Davido’s child.
Atlanta-based Amanda is also the mother of his second daughter and look-alike, Hailey. Another British model and DJ, Larissa, is also the mother of Davido’s fifth child, Dawson Adeleke. The duo was rumoured to be dating in 2019, and Dawson was born in 2020. Despite his numerous baby mamas, Davido went ahead late last year to marry Chioma, who also mothered his child, Ifeanyi Adeleke, who was born on the 20th of October 2019, but unfortunately died inside their home swimming pool last year.
The singer has been quoted to have said that babies are blessings from God and that he has never asked any girl to have an abortion for him. Davido is one popular young man many of our youths look up to as a role model.
Before Davido’s issue became public last week, Olubankole Wellington, professionally known as Banky W, was also reported to have allegedly impregnated his USA-based side chick. Banky W and the alleged side chick have allegedly been seeing each other for years as she is always shuttling between USA and Nigeria. Aside from that, the lady is reported to have gotten pregnant for Banky W twice which she aborted but she is now determined to keep the third pregnancy and has already started addressing herself as ‘Mrs. Wellington USA chapter’
Despite his long-standing affair, Banky W went ahead to legally marry Nigeria’s beautiful actress, Adesua Etomi. The couple got engaged in February 2017, held their court wedding on November 20th and their white wedding on November 25th of the same year. In early January 2021, Adesua and Banky W welcomed their son, Hazaiah.
Apart from Davido and Banky W, many entertainers and icons to many of our youths have had children outside wedlock, including Tuface Idibia, Wizkid, Ubi Franklin, Flavour, KWAM 1, among others.
With our entertainers, music superstars, and artists taking the lead and providing guidance for those who look up to them, marriage seems to be gradually going out of fashion in the present day. Many of our youths are no longer interested in getting married, and it cuts across the sexes. Males are afraid of making the life-long commitment and shouldering the responsibility of caring for, and raising a family. They are now more concerned with getting rich as quickly as possible and using the money to enjoy their lives. With money, they are of the view that women will be at their beck and call and that they don’t have to be tied down to one single woman.
Also, the rate of divorce in society scares many away from the institutions of marriage, with some arguing that there are no marriageable ladies again. And with sex becoming one of the cheapest commodities in the world, many are running away from lifetime commitments. The fad now is to get a girl pregnant and go separate ways. Nowadays, if a lady is talking about marriage, the major question she will be asked is what she is bringing to the table.
As for the women, they are no longer interested in committing to any man and becoming cooks and unsullied housewives or caregivers for the rest of their lives. Again, many of them are not interested in taking the ‘BS’ most of their mothers took from their fathers and now see marriage as an institution of equals. Such terms as 50-50 situation, co-pilots, partners, who share bills and chores are the yardstick that defines marriage for the millennial and Gen Zs who are also not willing to wait on any young man still struggling in life. They are mostly after the big boys in society, those already ‘made’ and willing to spoil them silly with money. Unconditional love and societal well-being are far from their minds. In some cases, older women that have fallen out of love, been deprived or caged to the extent of losing sight of their dreams as a result of marriage are now taking the bold steps to walk away. Again, the high rate of divorce among celebrities has affected many ladies who now feel there is no rationale to submit to the authority of a man again.
Due to the heightened influence of Western culture, polygamy/polygyny is now frowned upon, yet, there are more women than men in the society. Although multiple marriages are still openly practiced in North Nigeria and among Muslims, it is still coveted in other parts of the country and among other religions, tribes, and traditions. The trend is now being replaced by the one-man, one-wife with many concubines or side chicks practice, which even leaves men these days with more than the capped number of legitimate wives of four under Islamic Law.
Interestingly, women across marriageable ages seem to prefer the me-and-my-husband arrangement, with most appearing not to be bothered if such men have several side chicks and children by the side, as long as they are not accommodated under one roof or made to relate together. There have also been several instances where women who have just been divorced from their husbands openly celebrate their new-found freedom. There are even social media groups for divorced women.
It also appears that some people are no longer interested in getting married to the opposite sex due to the influence of Western culture in the country, no thanks to the lifestyle of music and movie stars. Although the Federal Government has criminalised same-sex marriages, we would be deceiving ourselves if we continue to deny the fact that many Nigerians are into same-sex arrangements. As far back as 2003, I did a report where two young boys were discovered to be gay in Lagos and were seriously dealt with by their neighbours. When they went to the police to lodge a complaint, to their shock, they were put behind bars. Upon their eventual release, they decided this time, to report their ordeal to the media, which was where I picked up the story. At the end of the day, the duo had to leave the country when the backlash on them became unbearable. Now, however, lesbianism is widely practiced in Nigeria, and there are bars and clubhouses that cater to their warped desires.
Amidst these occurrences that remind the religious amongst us of the signs of the end times, I am reminded by God’s Word about marriage as an institution ordained by Him. The Holy Quran says,
“And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.” (Surah an-Nur, 24:32)
The imperative form of the word ‘nikah’, which means the marriage contract, implies that marriage is highly recommended. According to scholars, although marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes even moreso when there is a chance of falling into sin.
The Prophet (SAW) says, “No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage.” On another occasion, the Prophet (SAW) said,“The best people of my nation (Ummah) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors.”
Imam ‘Ali (A.S.) exhorts, “Marry, because marriage is the tradition of the Prophet (S).” The Prophet (SAW) also said, “Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition.”
Again, in the Bible, God promotes it as part of His plan for His children. In Hebrews 13:4 it says, “Marriage is honorable.” It’s clear that God wants us to aspire to holy matrimony. Then in Matthew19:5-6, it says, “And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Here, we see that marriage isn’t just something man made up, but something God has ordained. At the appropriate age, He wants us to leave our parents and marry, becoming “one flesh,” which can be interpreted as one entity.
Despite the clear instructions from the two holy books, marriage appears to be becoming less fashionable with each passing generation. It is no longer an achievement that one should aspire to or be proud of, according to some feminists, while economic pressures on many young men is also a major hindrance to their desire for marriage.
But there are consequences for such action on society, as the rising number of broken homes is alarming. To raise God-fearing, obedient, and intelligent young ones, both parents have to be on top of their game, not to talk of a society that encourages baby mamas and single parenting.
In examining Davido’s issues and that of some of his colleagues in the entertainment industry who are now baby daddies to many children outside wedlock, while I do not entirely blame them, they must act more responsibly by protecting themselves and loved ones if they must live on the fast lane. Many ladies throw themselves at these stars, believing that it is an achievement to be seen sleeping and rolling with those up in the society. Many of them are even diabolical in their desperation, using various foul means to entrap them. Many on social media are already calling on the OBO exponent to start using condoms in his dalliance with women if he cannot stick to Chioma alone. I pray he listens.
I also pray that our leaders will provide some form of social safety net for young couples wishing to get married so that the financial burden of starting a new family will not be too much on them. It is being done in most oil-rich nations of the world. It is available in Saudi Arabia, as well as in Qatar. Once you express your interest to get married, you are entitled to interest-free funds that would help in stabilizing your home. A stable home will definitely beget offspring that would add value to society later in life. We are also an oil-producing nation, let our youths benefit from our God-given resources at least for once.
See you next week.
