Prologue
Think the CHILD…Think TODAY…Think the FUTURE…. According to Fredrick Douglass: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” Taiwo Akinlami’s fundamental approach to child protection therefore is: “Enlightenment is Superior to Enforcement.”
Opening charge
THE CHILD’S NAME IS TODAY
We are guilty of many errors and faults. But our worst crime is abandoning the children – Neglecting the fountain of life. Many of the things we do can wait – the child cannot. Right now is the time his bones are being formed. His blood is being made and his senses are being developed. To him we cannot answer: “Tomorrow.”
“His name is TODAY.” Gabriella Mistrel, Nobel Prize winning poet from Chile.
To whom did God give a child?
A child is not born to the world, he/she is born to the FAMILY. The FAMILY prepares him or her as a GIFT or MENACE to the world. The joy of having children is not bringing them to this world, but rather, it is in how they are raised.
How are we doing today?
“Never in recent memory have so many children been subjected to…unspeakable brutality.” So says Anthony Lake, UNICEF Executive Director, in a recent press release.
Why are we at this spot?
“…The falcon cannot HEAR the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world…” William Butler Yeats -The Second Coming
It begins and ends with the FAMILY
“The ruin of a nation begins in the homes of its people.” – Ghanaian proverb.
It goes without saying that the opposite is also an absolute truth and I render it thus: ‘The prosperity of a nation begins in the homes of its people.’
Requirement of the commitment
. The Law of Priority
. Making of HARD CHOICES?
This commitment is a “high calling” to be answered with caution.
Charles Stanley said: “In giving us children, God places us in a position of both LEADERSHIP and SERVICE. He calls us to GIVE UP our lives for someone else’s sake – to abandon our own desires and put our child’s interests first. Yet, according to His perfect design, it is through this SELFLESSNESS that we can become truly fulfilled.” Stanley is Senior pastor of First Baptist Church, a mega church in northern Atlanta, Georgia; founder and president of In Touch Ministries
Children have five basic needs. These are:
1. Every child needs SOMEONE to BELIEVE – A Role Model
2. Every child needs SOMETHING to BELIEVE – Values
3. Every child needs SOMEWHERE to BELONG -Family and Community
4. Every child needs SOMETHING to BECOME – Aspiration to Significance and Pursuit of Inner Potential
5. Every child needs the AFFIRMATION of his FREEDOM and RESPONSIBILITY- A sense of dignity and self-worth.
Meaning of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N-
¥ C- Care
¥ H-Heritage
¥ I- individuality
¥ L-Leadership
¥ D- Delightful
¥ R- Respect
¥ E- Empower
¥ N- Now
What is child abuse?
I always like to define abuse by its impact. I believe that abuse (physical, emotional, sexual and neglect) of any kind – at all times and in every circumstance, DEHUMANIZES the child. What does it mean to dehumanize? “To make somebody less human: to make somebody less human by taking away his or her individuality, the creative and interesting aspects of his or her personality, or his or her compassion and sensitivity towards others.’ -Microsoft Encarta 2009.
Child abuse changes everything about the child…Yes everything.
PARENTS
P-Pay Attention
First, who is parenting your child? Everyone who has influence on your child is a parent including living and non-living things.
Raising children requires these three things: Knowledge (What to do); Skill (How to do it); Attitude (Wisdom and Inner Strength to do it). You must do all at all times in THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD. Child Protection is the primary responsibility of the parents. There are four rings of protection (the family, the community, the state and the international community). Please note that a child has only one problem, being exposed to abuse or neglect. The child is vulnerable
How do you protect? You do not protect by wishing, you protect by creating what we call a protective environment, which has three pillars: STRENGTHENED FAMILY UNITS, CUSTOMS, and LEGISLATION…This leads us to Child Protection Policy.
Parenting cannot be delegated to schools; the parents and schools are partners in progress in child protection. There is no perfect school, just as there is no perfect family. Parents and schools join forces to produce protected children.
We do not GIVE Children their rights, we RESPECT their Rights (Four Baskets of Rights).Their Rights are INALIENABLE. Since we invited the children into this world, duty demands that we be good hosts. The next time your children say: “Thank you.” Your response should be: “It is my DUTY.”
A-Act together in unity
Gary Chapman submits in his book: The Four Seasons of Marriage: “…RESEARCH indicates that an INTIMATE MARRIAGE provides the SAFEST and MOST PRODUCTIVE CLIMATE for raising children.”
R-Ready to be real
. Sadly many of us were not children before…
. Everything in life produces after its own kind. Therefore we parent after our kind. Children do not do what we say, they do what we do. According to Robb Thompson, ‘You are either a prisoner of your past or a pioneer of your future.’
. What you truly believe about your children is informed by your corporate values and experiences. Therefore do not live in denial.
. Therefore consider belief system auditing, which begins with questioning your present beliefs, viz-a-viz your corporate values and experiences.
E-Engage your children
. There are FOUR GROUND RULES of Engaging Children:
. EXAMPLE: Long before children understand rules, they understand examples.
; LOVE is a cardinal principle in engaging the child. Love to Children means
ACCEPTANCE and ATTENTION.
. KNOWLEDGE is foundational: there are 4 levels of ignorance you must deal with.
. GENUINE RELATIONSHIP: The operating force of EXAMPLE, LOVE and KNOWLEDGE is GENUINE RELATIONSHIP and it answers to TIME.
“It’s time to turn the TV off & spend more time with our kids. Time is what every child wants and needs. We live in a fast world, where slowing down to spend time with our families is hard to do- unless we make it a priority. Our children are our greatest gift, our greatest responsibility, our greatest test…It’s time for us to look into our children’s eyes and remember what’s important.” – Hillary Clinton
. Discipline but do not damage/humiliate: The purpose of discipline is to help a child to be conscious of his/her dignity of human person and it begins with examples and not rules…
. An abused child and a spoilt child share common destiny.
. You must help your children to see the full picture of life…Help them to think stewardship instead of ownership.
. Do not cage, rather expose options to them.
N-Never say never
. This is a consistent commitment to CAUTION.
. Vigilance is the price for safety. The only way to secure our children is to be vigilant.
. We must always be significant steps ahead of the enemy of the souls of our children.
. Children are not Vulnerable: when a child is abused, there are three culprits: the primary and secondary custodians, the abuser and the onlooker.
T-Turn to God
. I do believe that children come from God.
. If we agree that they come from him, therefore we must make a solemn and responsible commitment to seek His assistance in raising our children
. The foregoing is a demand of WISDOM.
S-Sent to save humanity
. The state of humanity is in the hands of the child, beginning with the custodians…
. Therefore whatever we give to the child is what he gives back to humanity, beginning from the parents.
. Remember Billy Graham, so also Adolf Hitler, Idi Amin and Bundy.
Epilogue
“When your life is the struggle, like mine was, there is little room left for family. That has always been my greatest regret, and most painful aspect of the choice I made. We watched our children grow without our GUIDANCE…TO BE THE FATHER OF A NATION IS A GREAT HONOUR, BUT TO BE THE FATHER OF A FAMILY IS A GREATER JOY. But it was a joy I had far little of.” – Dr. Mandela at one of his daughter’s wedding receptions, Page 825, of: “The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom.”
The Abraham Lincoln perspective
“A child is a person who is going to carry on what you have started. He is going to sit where you’re sitting, and when you’re gone; attend to those things which are important. You may adopt all the policies you please, but how they are carried out depends on him. He will assume control of your Cities, States, and Nation. He is going to move in and take over your churches, schools, universities and corporations. The fate of humanity is in his hands.”
. Being excerpts of the presentation on: “Child Rights Act: The home and school partnership,” by Barrister Taiwo Akinlami at Trinity International College Parents’ Forum on November 12, 2016.
